Friendly’s of East Northport Sucks

Packed up the family today and thought we’d go get some over-priced burgers at Friendly’s on Larkfield. To be fair, we had two good experiences there this summer. One waitress in particular was very, well, friendly. Today? Not so much.

But I don’t like to beat up on the waitresses. I wouldn’t be writing this if the problem was the waitresses because I don’t think anyone in the service industry is paid enough to pamper my ass (though for a $9.00 hamburger, I’m starting to question just how firmly I believe that now). Anyway, in addition to the matter of the waitress, the place was filthy, service was slow, and the manager seemed very uninspiring.

The main source of our entertainment/disappointment was the “greeter.” She didn’t do any greeting. In fact, all she said to us was “3?” She grabbed some menus, turned, and walked us to our table. Cold, but effective.

We sat for nearly 15 minutes before we were offered drinks. I can be understanding about that on a Friday if a place is getting slammed. But it wasn’t slammed, and it was well staffed – staffed well enough for one waitress to stand in the back texting someone (while standing in the way of others). We debated leaving until a waitress showed up. She was pleasant enough, so we stayed.

The greeter returned to place another family near us at a dirty table. We noticed by this point that the greeter had far too defeated a body posture for an 18 year woman (our estimate). Her body language, facial expressions, intonations were all indicative of more than indifference. Instead, she was telling everyone she didn’t give a sh!t. In fact, when the family seated near us asked the greeter to clean the table, she paused to look at the table. I think she was looking for evidence of the need to clean the table; she wasn’t convinced. After closer inspection, she rolled her eyes on her way to fetch a dirty towel she could swirl around. The patrons saw her roll her eyes, and talked about it after she stepped away. By this point, we’d nick-named her “No-Chins,” because she had no chin.

Soon after, she was directed to clean another freshly abandoned table. She brought her bin over and began ever-so-slowly to remove the items from it. In the process she knocked over a water-filled cup. Allowing the water to drip all over the seats, she started picking up the plates and napkins. Done with the dishes, the water had dripped all over the seats. So, she started picking up the individual ice cubes from the table top as she stepped in the slop on the ground. The manager noticed that the champ was leaving people in the front unseated, so she told the greeter to mop up the mess while she seated the guests. Evidently, mopping meant swirling the dirty towel around on the table AND on the floor. Realizing the greeter cum cleaning tard didn’t understand that mopping more than implied the use of a mop, the manager instructed her to go to the front of the restaurant to greet guests while she cleaned the table. So, greeter went to the front and proceeded to bring a family to the messy table. Arriving, they instructed greeter that they didn’t want to sit at the table. Why? Because it was still dirty.

She sat them behind us, where they proceeded to discuss leaving.

As they discussed leaving, I looked at the floor that the manager cleaned. It seems greeter learned the swirl-the-filth method from the manager who left large chunks of food swelling on the damp floor.

Later, as we paid up front, I was closer to the fryer. Having worked at both Brookfield Zoo concessions and White Castle, I recognized the smell. It smelled not of grease or old grease. It smelled of the grease bin I used to dump old grease into behind the restaurant. I’d never smelled this inside a restaurant. I can only guess that stench was emanating from an old abandoned fryer, really nasty old grease in a fryer being used, or grease spilled, abandoned, and accumulated on the walls.

Something is wrong at Friendly’s and we won’t be back for a while.